Memorial Day - Remember the TRUE meaning

Today is Memorial Day.  And while most will be thankful for an extra day off work, an extra day to sleep in...that is not the true meaning of the day.

This is a day of remembrance. 

Remember those who fell in battle in days past to bring us the freedoms we take for granted every day.  To those who didn't come home to their loved ones, those who went out to meet danger and war because it was asked of them.

Remember and thank the members of our military services: Air Force, Army, Marines, Navy, Coast Guard and National Guard and Reserves.  They have an impossible job, yet they meet the challenge with dignity and honor.

I am thinking about Thor today - my own hero.  So far away at the moment, doing his duty.  Here is a picture that was taken as part of an ABC News special about his squadron.

I'm so tired...but I can't sleep...

Was up half the night and tossing and turning the other half.  No word from Thor for a few days and was having a very bad feeling.  Very bad.  Like my skin was too tight, and all the rooms in my house were closing in on me.

Wait.  Wait. Wait.  Waiting....

No email again.  Staring at the walls this morning at 3am.  4am.  5am.  6am

Couldn't sleep.  Finally gave up and got up this morning at 6:30am.  Went to take a shower and when I was getting dressed for the day, got an email from him.

And started crying like a little sissy.  Jeez, Leah...get a grip.  I just want to yell at myself sometimes.

                                                  From happier times - goofier times.

I still marvel at the realization that the solitary person I was has given way to someone whose whole world is wrapped up in my bald-headed husband.

So, I've turned into a sap.

Well, this sap is going to take a nap since I think I've earned it.

The rainy day blues...aka. I miss my husband so much it hurts

So this isn't going to be a dose of my usual random redheadness, sarcastic shenanigans, etc...so if that is what you are looking for, you might want to save this entry for another day.

It's a rainy day here in Omaha...a rainy, stormy and dreary day spent under a quilt with the fuzz people.  A day spent missing my husband...an ache which seems to spread from under my ribs out to my fingertips.  It hits and for a moment I think I might be having a stroke.

But no...it's just my body manifesting the loneliness that I can usually keep at bay with one of my many, many projects.  But some days, like today, the weather seems to make my usual frenetic energy slow down until all I want to do is sleep. And mope.  And cry. And feel sorry for myself.



On our first date in SF.


And miss him.  And worry that every time the phone rings...it's bad news.  Horrible news.  And then yelling at myself for worrying when I get his latest email.  During the wait in between contact...chanting to myself: he's ok, he's ok, he's ok....over and over again.

Normally, I like storms - the days when you curl up with your loved ones, warm and safe at home.  But while he's gone...they seem to taunt me with loneliness, make me realize what I am missing.

Oh, don't listen to me.  I'm just feeling sorry for myself.  And now that I have depressed everyone...I'll call it done.

                                                                                            A couple months before our wedding.