So you're 30 weeks pregnant - ready to pop yet?

It's amazing to me the things people say to a random pregnant lady they don't know.  Although I think I have been pretty lucky even in that aspect of the 40 weeks of belly stretching fun compared to some people. 

Apparently my height and frame continue to hide most of my 7-plus month belly so most everyone just thinks I'm a few months along only.  Pod is twisting and twirling and doing her flailey version of kickboxing all through the day and night...she seems to be a bit of a night owl though.  Which means I get a lot of thumping and bumping right around when I am ready to call it a night. 

Going through the next round of pregnant lady poking, prodding and testing - so far so good.  A bit of a scare recently due to a random minor bacterial infection which could have been handled easily at the base clinic but a couple apathetic nurses and a OB in the middle of getting his wisdom teeth out - twisted into the mother of all clusterfucks and I ended up at the Med Center ER, hooked up to fetal monitors and evaluated for placenta previa, etc.  I'm fine.  Pod's fine.  Just some antibiotics for a week and it's all good.

No name for Pod yet, Thor and I are still tossing out suggestions and using our veto powers on ones we don't like.  I have a couple of favorites that are on the list...we'll see which make the cut.  We have a couple more months yet.  Nursery is coming along...but we're mostly ready with all the essentials we need.  Super excited for my baby shower next week put on by the lovely Jenny and Kara.  And it looks like Pod will be in the pictures again...another ultrasound to check her growth in a few days.  Gonna see if I can charm another print out for Thor since he's still out of town.

Other than that everything's been plugging along...almost done with my abbreviated summer show season, only 3 more weekends at the Midtown Market.  It's been a fun summer. 

Maryland/DC Trip part 3 - Annapolis

The last part of the trip was to Annapolis - I wanted to be able to see the ocean, or squint and pretend I was looking at the ocean...so we decided to spend a night there too.  We left Washington DC about noon and headed for Chesapeake Bay.  It was only like 45 minutes away.

The original campus of Thor's college, St. John's is located there as well and it happened to be graduation weekend so we stopped at the campus first and poked around the bookstore - got some actual alma mater chockies and everything.  Well, as much as coffee cups, and book tabs can be called chockies.  If you are familiar with St. John's you know why regular memorabilia is just not available.  It's a pretty campus, kinda like you imagine college campuses should be...ivy covered, brick, little pathways and big 'ol trees.  And a bell even.  Welcome to the Atlantic side.

We stopped for lunch and then headed to our hotel to take a nap.  We poked around town, Thor found some super cute onesies for Pod at the Old Navy there.  Things with wee shrimps and crabs on them.  LOL

Decided to find a seafood place near the water and drove around for a bit.  As an ocean state girl myself who has been living in the landlocked middle for 3 years...I nearly wept at the smell of fresh fish and salt water.  We found a little place next to the Marina and since it was early on a Saturday night...we got snuck into a little booth.  Our waiter was so adorable - great drawly Southern accent I haven't heard in years.  We were in Maryland so hello...crab cakes!! 

OMG!  I have been so sorely deprived all my life.  I thought crab cakes had things like panko and sweet corn in them because crab ain't cheap...oh no!  That's only on the other coast.  Looking at the Atlantic...you get these HUGE lump meat crab cakes that taste like heaven...no fillers.  I was nearly rolled out of the restaurant afterward, Pod approved of the amazing eats. 

We tried to go see Bridesmaids after dinner, but the only theaters in town were both sold out for the evening showings.  So we called it a night and watched HBO, curled into a spouse ball at the hotel.

The next morning we went into downtown Annapolis to poke around after breakfast.  Gotta do that traditional souvenir shopping thing.  We found a cutie little red and white onesie for Pod for Christmas morning and got Thing 1 and Thing 2 shirts for me and Thor for Halloween.  Got some yummy ice cream and headed back to Hagerstown about noon.  It was a fun weekend.  I defintely want to go back for longer next time.

Trip to Maryland/DC - Part 2 - Inside the Smithsonian

So here's part 2 of my series on my trip to Maryland/DC.  On our 1st morning in DC after arriving, we mosied on over to the Natural History Museum at the Smithsonian, because Thor really wanted to check it out.  I've never been to any of the museums in the complex so I thought it was a good place to start.

It was about a 15 minute walk - luckily not raining at that point.  And we reached the museum about 15 minutes early.  We plunked down in the lobby and waited for the doors to open.  Here's a pic of the exterior...it's a BIG building.

Once the museum opened, we booked into the gift shop for our standard souvenirs of pressed pennies, a guide book to the complex and a bottle of water.  Then it was off to the rotunda to see this guy!

Let's call him Gerry.  Then to appease the little kid in both of us it was off to the dinosaur exhibit.  Fossils, bones, and skeletons...oh MY!  Here are a few of the specimins that caught our eyes and our flashbulbs...the fluorescent lights created some interesting photo effects.

And then a short stop in the Gem Exihibit for those of us that drool at the sight of ginourmous colored stones (me), and rock formation hounds (Thor).  An attempt was made to capture a pic of the Hope diamond although the new, temporary setting I thought was way overdone and not that impressive.  I mean it's the Hope diamond - dark blue, amazing, stunning...and surrounding it with hundreds of colorless diamonds and then placing it under fluorescent lights just made it....kinda meh.  But here it is anyway.

And then after lunch and another hour or so browsing about - we called it a day and went out the opposite entrance toward the Smithsonian Castle and the Capitol Mall.  The castle was stunning and I wish we'd had time to poke in...but it started raining pretty heavily and we needed to make a run for it back to our hotel to check out and mosey toward Annapolis.

In the next installment, we'll be in Annapolis and Chesapeake Bay.

Maryland Trip - Weekend in DC, part 1

I promised you all pics of my trip and I'm determined to follow through.  So here are some pics of our weekend in DC.

It rained all weekend which put a kabosh on some of the outdoor activities we had planned, and limited our pics.  Didn't make it to the Lincoln Memorial or the Capitol Building or some of the other museums at the Smithsonian...but it was fun nonetheless.

Through Thor's many many many Priority Club points we got our hotel in DC for free.  We stayed at the Crowne Plaza which was 4 blocks from the White House.  Tried to get pics of the White House, but we seemed to have shown up on a school trip Friday...so droves and droves of teenagers were milling about in front of the gates...which made for iffy pic taking.  The hotel was amazing!  With great views of the city.

We walked around the city for a bit the first night, but rain started really coming down and we didn't bring the umbrella.  So we had dessert at the hotel and called it a night. 

Next morning we went out to the Smithsonian bright and early - and had to wait around for a half hour until they opened.  Got a few shots of DC on the way there.

Shots of the Capitol Building, the Washington Monument and the Treasury Building.

 Washington Monument

So that's it for Part 1 of the DC weekend, post on the Smithsonian and Natural History Museum soon with more pics.  We also made a stop in Annapolis to see Chesapeake Bay and visit the East Coast campus of Thor's college, St. Johns.  Gorgeous campus, exactly what I always envisioned a college campus was supposed to look like when I was a kid. 

Look for that in the next few days!

Ok, wow...June snuck up on me...

Hi all -

It's been awhile...June snuck up on me without any warning.  Well, without any warning I noticed I guess.  It's the classic story of looking at my calendar to add an appointment and realizing I was still on May.  LOL

Anyway, so a quick rundown on what's been happening my little world in the past month.

1. 26 weeks down, 14 or so to go.  Pod is flailing spastically more and more each day.  She seems to really be active when I am working.  Especially with anything that vibrates my hands (polishing, grinding, etc).  And when Thor calls or video chats.

2.  Went to see Thor in Maryland for a week in mid-May.  It was a fun trip - wish I could have stayed longer.  We got out to see DC and the Smithsonian as well as Annapolis.  Was just great to spend normal couple time with him.  Trying to pull together another trip to see him before I am grounded from air travel.

3.  The Outdoor Market at Midtown Crossing has BEGUN!  I was out there for the first 2 Saturdays and it's an amazing group of vendors, great event staff and just a fun, easygoing atmosphere that is a joy to sell at.  Look for me 5 more weekends throughout the season - June 25, July 2, July 9, July 30 and Aug 6.

4.  Tons of new hair accessories - that's my concentration this summer season.  Not making the full switch over from jewelry (since that is my first love), but am only concentrating on casting jewelry in silver and bronze.

5. Third semester taking metal casting - love it.  Am finishing projects faster and faster and have many to share.  (In a separate post though).  This will be my last semester for a bit, because it ends right around my 8 month of pregnancy.  Won't be able to pick it up again until after Thor gets home and Pod makes her appearance.  But, hopefully I will be back for Winter Quarter in January.

So that's pretty much it.  I am still working on the nursery.  Walls are painted, crib and mattress purchased, stocked up on clothes and basic essentials to see us through the first few weeks.  The amazing Jenny and Kara have a Dr. Seuss themed shower in the works for mid-July...super excited about that.

Looks like the next couple of posts are going to be picture-centric since I still haven't edited pics from my trip, the last round of headband production, Jackie's wedding (I got to accessorize the lovely ladies of the bridal party), etc.

Ponderings on becoming a mother...

So it's Mother's Day today.  And while the rest of the country is buying or sending flowers, signing silly cards and booking reservations for brunch or dinner for their moms...I am sitting at my computer thinking about becoming a mother.

Some of you may know my mom, some may not.  I love my mother, but as I have recently discovered by finally being honest with myself...our relationship is far from healthy.  I cannot lay all the blame at her doorstep, it takes two people to make and maintain a good relationship. 

But this Mother's Day, I find myself pondering what kind of mother I'll be.  What my child will think of me when he or she is an adult.  Wondering what I can do to make sure history doesn't repeat itself.  I would be devastated if my child thought, said, or wrote the words, "I love my mother, but...".

But as I've discovered, my mom doesn't really understand me at all.  34 years of trying to show her who I am, twisting and turning myself into knots to try and fit the role I was given, getting angry and frustrated and not being able to show it, being terrified of what she'd say or think or do if I ever had the guts to say, "hey, this is not ok" or, "Mom, I love you...but you are not perfect." 

Well, I finally did this a few weeks ago...and well, now here we are.  In trying to be honest about my feelings, I have basically been shunted to the corner.  We're not speaking, and that's not likely to change unless I want to resume twisting myself into someone I'm just not.  Which is sad and unfortunate.  But, I can't continue being the one who always has to bend, to fold, to smile and pretend just to keep the facade that everything's perfect. 

And after a long hard look at the last 34 years, at letters my mom has written me throughout my life, my own journals from growing up, and facing becoming a mother...I've come up with the following.

As a mother, I want to be there to wipe away my child's tears,
not brush aside my child's feelings.

As a mother, I want to listen to my child's ideas,
not sigh and say I don't have time.

As a mother, I want to laugh with my child,
not laugh at my child's pain.

As a mother, I want my child to feel my love through my actions,
not make my child make do with just words.

As a mother, I want to show my child the world,
not tell them who they should be.

As a mother, I want my child to know that I am not perfect,
not expect my child to pretend that I am.

As a mother, I want to offer whatever help my child needs,
not make my child feel guilty for needing help.

So with that, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.

Home - Part II

So this series is about what home means.  The last installment was about what "home" meant to me as a child.  But just like in nature, things that make a home change as you get older.  And that's where we are right now.

As I am sure most high school students do, I was eager and waiting to turn 18 years old so that the world would see me as an adult.  As if magically on my birthday, the world's perception of me would drastically shift.  Not so much.  When I turned 18, I was still in my senior year of high school with a couple months to go until graduation.  Nothing changed that day. 

But I did have a plan in place.  My senior year was light on the school front, I had loaded up on classes for 3 years so I would only have half days my last year.  I had a few part time jobs and I saved all my money and began to acquire and stockpile linens, housewares, dishes, etc.  I even had a roommate lined up.  My plan was simple - the minute I was handed my diploma, I was planning my escape.

My dreams of college were put on hold because I didn't want to start my life horribly in debt and my mother was unwilling to help with any college expenses regardless of how many partial scholarships I'd been offered or how many schools I got into.  I was on my own.

For months after I graduated, I scoured the rental ads for a place that me and 1 roommate could afford.  As it was San Jose, CA...that was quite a tall order.  But late in the summer, my mom got a phone call from a friend saying there was a 3 bedroom apartment available in her building for less than what my mom was paying for a 2 bedroom.  She jumped on and dragged me to see the place.  Hmmmm...right on the bus line to work, nice building and neighborhood, gasp - cheap rent.  And look!  A 2 bedroom also available. 

Down side - next door to the place my mom wanted.  I waited until my mom went to work on Monday and called her friend to get a rental application.  I filled it out, and waited to hear.  I didn't tell my mom anything about it.  The day she found out she'd gotten the apartment she wanted, I found out I was finally free.

There was a meltdown that I won't bore you with.  But, the minute I paid my security deposit and the first month's rent and stood in that tiny empty apartment, I felt just peaceful.  That ugly green shag carpeting and 70s linoleum were absolutely breath-taking because they were in my house.  My house that had a dead bolt on the front door and none of my mother's rules or drama.  Freedom was a 550 sq foot apartment with a bedroom my furniture barely fit in and a shared bathroom with a friend.  My home had a tiny hideous loveseat from Goodwill and a really ugly orange velour chair that was amazingly comfortable, hand me down dining table/chairs and tons of garage sale kitchenware but it was mine.  All mine.

Home was a space of my own where I was allowed to be whomever I wanted to be and feel however I wanted to feel with the power to tell anyone who didn't like it to leave.