I stumbled upon the best weight loss plan I've ever run across about 4 months ago. Wasn't looking to lose weight, in fact I was engaging in planning for an event sure to pack on the pounds.
So how did I do it? Well, let me run through the 5 easy steps to my weight loss.
1. Get knocked up.
2. Be nauseous 24 hours a day for 3 months solid, resulting in eating very little.
3. Sleep all the bloody time. Sleep like you have a raging case of mono. Sleep like a college student crashing after a Redbull binge for finals. Hell, sleep like a fuzzy, one crossed eye house cat named Munchkin - actually I think I put even him to shame.
4. Have a human being growing inside you that takes between 300-600 calories from you a day. Every day.
5. Drink water like you are stuck in the middle of the desert with no hope of ever getting out. Or like you are half camel.
I've lost over 25 pounds so far. Crazy.
I'm going to call it the Pod diet.
Brought to you by Butler. Pod Butler.