Friday, March 25, 2011

So you thought it would be easy to name your child - horror stories from name trauma

So pretty much all of you know that I'm pregnant, expecting my first child.  It's still a few weeks until we can find out the sex of the baby...but being the list maker/planner that I am, there exists already (and for some time now) a list of "approved" names.  Both for boys and girls.  I've shared the list with Thor and while he doesn't approve of all the names, it's at least a jumping off point.

I've heard too many stories of parents waiting to name their kid until they have it in hand and it's crunch time, with the nurse standing by to fill out the birth certificate.

And both my husband and I have serious childhood name trauma ourselves from our names.  So while the smart ass in me (and him!) want to come up with something TRULY spectacular...I am feeling a moment's pause and caution lately.

I don't want my potential daughter to be tormented like I was with the 1980's Star Wars trilogy name all through her school years, because in a moment of "oh, that'd be soooooo cute" I decided to hang the proverbial sign - sending her to school with donut braids and a name that screamed IRONY at the top of its lungs. 

(Disclaimer:  My mother will claim that I asked her to do the donut braids.  But, as I was only 6 years old and couldn't begin to understand the complexities of life, I maintain that she, as the adult, should have known better.)  Love ya mom, but totally gonna pin that one on you.

Or a cocktail waitress' name, or a stripper name, or the name I SWORE to my grandmother I would never, never, NEVER name my child.  Which my mom actually likes. 

And I don't want my potential son to have a name that seems like a cool, unusual the parents are from some other country - let's say Norway, for example.  But is in fact an attempt by academics to place that sign again on a poor defenseless child.  Who will come to realize torment for said name, right about the time he's discovering girls.  And while it's cool to be named after the Norse god of thunder...telling a cute girl at a party that you were named after a drawf king in MiddleEarth doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

And I am contemplating the poor Apples, Kal- Els, and Rumers of the world - they aren't ever living that shit down...trying to think of a name that sounds good with our last name, won't cause undue trauma, hasn't been used 5 million times, and won't get the poor kid beat up in school.

Boy, this is going to be harder than I thought...

1 comment:

Robin Norgren said...

picking a name is SO MUCH PRESSURE! I am coming over from Homefront blog and I am a follower!